I loaded everything in my Penske truck a week ago. My best friend Tina volunteered to travel with me to Salt Lake and then on to a celebratory trip to Vegas. I was an hour late getting to Tina's ranch because of traffic and other nonsense. When I got there we wound up taking a horse to a vet, another two hour delay. We finally left Tina's ranch about three hours off schedule ( I know you could probably do the math on your own here, but I wanted to make reading easy for you). We had gone about three miles when the following conversation took place:
Tina: VIRGINIA STOP! I just saw an animal back there that needed help.
Virginia: Tina, no way. We need to get going. We're already late and the sun is going down. The animal can fend for itself.
Tina: (becoming increasingly hysterical) We have to go back and help it.
Virginia: What was IT?
Tina: I don't know, but it was a mammal and it was upside down.
Virginia: (slowing the truck because I can't stop laughing)
It turned out to be a huge snapping turtle that had flipped over sliding down an embankment. I told Tina that not only was it a reptile, but she would lose a hand trying to help it.
Dialogue # 2
Virginia sees a McDonalds open at 4am and pulls a u-turn in a town with only a Mcdonalds and two gas stations. (yes, I'm writing in the third person) Virginia hasn't passed another car in almost an hour. When she makes the u-turn, she hears tires squealing and assumes the truck is just struggling with the fast paced turn. When she sees the flashing blue and red lights, she realizes that she was being tailed by a cop. The large yellow Penske truck is pulled over waiting for punishment.
Tina: Virginia- give me the gun. (There was a gun in the side door of the car in case anyone tried to mess with us. Yes, we are aware that we have seen way too many scary movies, so we brought a gun.)
Virginia: no way. Just leave it. The cop is walking up right now.
Tina: You have to tell her you have a gun.
Virginia: STOP saying the word "gun". We have no permits and we're going to get in trouble.
Tina: Just pass it to me so it doesn't fall out if you open the car door.
Virginia: (Glaring at Tina she turns quickly to roll the window down) Hello officer... I'm so sorry about the u-turn.
*Side note- we got out of the ticket and got an egg mcmuffin. It was a good night! And to answer your question or thought, the cop was a GIRL and SHE let us off.
When Tina and I got to Salt Lake City we promptly dropped my stuff and headed to Vegas for a final hoorah. Apparently I took my Vegas trip a little too seriously because I lost my voice the second day and had to mime my way through the rest of the trip. At one point my voice was totally gone and I was reduced to just squeaking and grunting. The lack of an audible voice didn't really slow me down though because I still went to clubs every night. At this one club I tried explaining to guys that tried to talk to me that I couldn't speak. The guy apparently misunderstood my miming and he thought I was deaf and dumb. He told his friend right next to me, with his back turned "Gosh, I wish I knew sign language so I could hook up with that hot retarded girl." Yea me!
Vegas is over and I drove to California for a quick fun trip. I'm obviously procrastinating unpacking and don't want to go back, but you all probably knew that. I'm going to be in Palo Alto, San Francisco, Tahoe, and then Reno for the next week. I'll probably make it home (wow, I can't believe that SLC is home now) by next Tuesday or Wednesday.
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