Monday, June 1, 2009

Do you know how I know you're gay?

I’m not certain, but I believe that the guy I went out with Friday night is gay. I will give you the facts and let you be the judge.

1. He told me he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to go on a date because he didn’t think he had a decent haircut.

2. For the last year he has been modeling in China.

3. He asked me what I was wearing so that he would know how to dress.

4. Somehow we got in a conversation about hermaphrodites. This may sound like it wouldn’t normally be first-date material, but if you know me, then you know that this is a totally acceptable first date topic. Here is an actual dialogue that took place.

Boy: I’ve thought about this a lot.
Me: What…hermaphrodites?
Boy: Well…yes. I came to the conclusion that if I were dating a girl and liked her and she turned out to be a hermaphrodite, then I would be okay with it.
(Please note that I never asked him if he would mind dating a hermaphrodite. He brought this part of the discussion up out of nowhere.)
Me: What if she had a penis?
Boy: I wouldn’t mind.
Me: WAIT…Let me get this straight. You wouldn’t want her to get it removed?
Boy: I wouldn’t mind because I’d just think of it like a big clit.
Me: (By “I wouldn’t mind” you really mean “I’d prefer a penis”.) I just sat there dumbstruck after his last comment.

PS- I just noticed that the fox in this picture has a really large clit.