Nutty Bums

I'm sorry I've been offline for a while. I've had a serious boyfriend for a while and so my dating stories have really petered off. Oh, I should probably mention that I got engaged, so don't expect my blog to pick up anytime soon. It will probably become one of those people who blog about how much fun I'm having planning my wedding and how sweet my husband is. Eventually, it will just be full of pictures of my future children. So feel free to stop reading now.

My big new-worthy moment of the week actually took place while grocery shopping. I was on the snack foods aisle trying to decide which of the fruit snacks was the best deal to buy for my fiance. I was in deep thought over the pros and cons of Gushers vs Fruit by the Foot when a bum/homeless person (I'm just guessing by his appearance and smell) stands next to me holding a box of granola bars.

Bum :I wouldn't buy those if I were you
Me: Huh (I look up quizzically wondering if there was some news campaign or propaganda I missed recently explaining how fruit snacks cause cancer/aids/scabies/gonorrhea)
Bum: They're not good for you.
Me: They're not for me. My fiance loves them and has finals this week, so I thought he needed a treat. (I have no idea why I felt the need to tell him my whole life story.)
Bum: Do you love him?
Me: Well...yea (wondering where this conversation is going)
Bum: Well, you obviously don't love him that much if you're buying him crappy food like that.
Then the bum just stormed off.

I had to resist the urge to call down the aisle to him and say something witty like "aren't you homeless" or "I'm pretty sure the fact you smell of booze and pee pee means that you're unhealthy", but I refrained...not because I'm ashamed to holler in a grocery store, but because they weren't particularly great come-backs. Even now I can't really think of any witty retort. Feel free to offer suggestions. I'm still taken aback by the whole encounter of being chastised by a bum for buying fruit snacks.